What’s the most life changing thing you’ve done in the last ten years? In the process of making that shift, was there a moment when you balked? Perhaps you said “I’ll never pull this off,” or thought, “My partner will leave me if I really go through with this.”

Never Say NeverOr, before you even committed, did you respond as some do when they first read about the Wellness Sexuality Practice: Cringe, shut your computer and say, “No way, I would never ever do that!”

Yet, somehow you burned through your resistance, and here you are – freer, lighter, more confident, and ready for what’s round the next corner. Who knew! Do you ever wonder what compelled you to do that thing that was so out of your comfort zone?

It might have been……..Desire. When you know your desire, and you trust it, it’s a straight shot. You summon up your courage, take aim, and go for it. If you repress your Desire it can show up in some pretty interesting guises, such as Aversion. Aversion is defined as strong dislike; something or someone that provokes strong feelings of dislike or disgust.

Taking on an Aversion practice is a potent way to excavate desires you didn’t even know you have, especially those you’ve considered taboo. When you allow yourself to say ‘yes’ to a ‘no’ or ‘never’ you increase your capacity to be more vital and alive.

Here are a few of the fantastic teachers who have mentored me in this realm:

  • Nicole Daedone – founder of One Taste – teaches how to dive down into the dark, hidden, unruly, and untamed world of orgasm.
  • Lester Levinson revealed that Aversion is the flip side of it the Attachment.
  • Byron Katie’s ‘turn around’ shows you that everything and everyone you dislike is a reflection of an unrealized aspect of yourself.
  • Karen Curry Parker uses Human Design to help you shed light on aspects of yourself that are most hidden, so you can lovingly integrate them and become more alive.

Essentially, Aversion Practice boils down to this: Whatever you most resist is what you are unconsciously attracted to! If you continue to resist it, you will attract it to you. If you surrender and embrace your aversion, you will open unclaimed aspects of yourself and become a more enriched and complete human being.

I invite you to experiment with this.

Think about some things you really dislike, and you do everything in your power to avoid. For example: Cat dander, opinionated people, crowds, being stuck in traffic, body odor. Let’s turn up the heat: What about cellulite, homeless people, illness, body piercing, having someone stroke the most sensitive part of your genitals?

Pick one aversion, like ‘crowds’. (You may want to start with something that isn’t at the very top of your list.) Write down everything you dislike about that thing. For instance, for crowds you might write ‘pushing, shoving, not enough room, tightly packed bodies, smell, noise…….’ Be thorough and scathingly honest – you don’t have to share this list with anyone. The more you write, the more you’ll uncover.

Now choose something you particularly dislike about your aversion – say ‘pushing and shoving.’ Ask yourself – “Is there a part of me that envies that quality in others?” Write about the aspect of you that may want to push out more in your life, or shove others aside. Be curious, don’t censor, and let yourself be surprised. You may find that a new desire in you becomes unleashed. Can you give yourself space to follow this desire in a way that is loving, especially to yourself?

Next time you find yourself in that situation that you so dislike, notice if anything in you has changed. Challenge yourself to explore another aversion – and dare yourself to open up in surprising new ways!

If you’d like to learn more about unleashing yourself, and leaning into your Aversions, click here.