In the Wellness Sexuality Practice you put all your attention on sensation. Not just any sensation, but the sensation you feel in one very specific spot. For the stroker, it’s the tip of your left index finger. For the strokee, it’s the place in the genitals where you’re being stroked. The more you stay with precisely what you’re sensing, the more the physical sensation can expand into other parts of the body.

Do you have a tendency to shift your attention? That is, do you skip from thought to thought, to sensation, to an emotion, then back to thought – and on and on? Every time you shift your focus to another ‘spot’ in your awareness, you actually dissipate your capacity to feel. It’s like you’re coasting on the surface of life. You may be moving quickly and getting things done. However, you may also be missing the opportunity to savor the richness of each moment.

If you find yourself complaining that you’re frustrated, you’re not accomplishing enough, or you’re just plain exhausted, consider this: Maybe it’s time to try something new. Would you like to find a way to reawaken your vitality and feel more enjoyment in whatever you ‘do?’

An invitation for you: 

Try this PG version of the Wellness Sexuality Practice. It’s designed to show you how to slow down and sense what’s going on in your body. The suggestions may seem challenging at first, especially if the last thing you want to do is slow down. You may discover that this simple practice brings a sense of relaxation, clarity, and more energy – the perfect fuel for moving back into action. What have you got to lose?

audio version of exercise

Focus on Sensation Exercise:

Set a timer for 8 minutes (preferably one that doesn’t tick!)

  • Sit in a position that you can stay with comfortably for 10 minutes. Keep your arms and legs uncrossed, unless you’re sitting on a meditation cushion.
  • Start the timer.
  • Close your eyes and bring awareness to your breath. Without trying to change your breathing in any way, notice the length of the inhalation and the exhalation. Become curious.
  • Tune into the subtle movements that arise from breathing, such as a rising and falling in the belly, or a feeling of expanding/letting go in the chest area.
  • Locate one place in your body where you feel sensation, such as tension, heat, vibration, aching, pulling, even numbness.
  • For the next few minutes bring all your awareness to that one spot. Notice how it feels to give it your undivided attention, without asking it to change – just as you would love a small child or animal who climbed up onto your lap. If you get distracted by a thought or emotion, notice that, and then gently bring your awareness back to the sensation.
  • When the timer goes off, slowly open your eyes. Take another minute to notice what has shifted for you. Do you feel quieter or more relaxed? How is that spot you gave all your attention to now? Is it buzzing, hot, cold, less tense, more awake?

As you move into your day, be curious about what unfolds. How is your energy? What are you interactions like with others? Is it harder or easier to get things done? Can you stay in touch with what you feel in your body – and enjoy whatever sensations arise?

If you catch yourself speeding up or getting distracted, no problem! Use that awareness as an opportunity to pause, take a breath, focus on a sensation in your body, and begin again!

To learn more about the Wellness Sexuality Practice, click here.